The History and Signs of Infidelity

History of infidelity/signs of infidelity

Recent surveys suggest that over 37% of all men and 22% of all women have had affairs during their marriages. History is replete with tales of infidelity. The Greek God, Zeus, noted as the first and most famous adulterer, sought the affections of Metis, Leto and a host of others while married to Hera. Such indiscretions are documented throughout history, from famous heads of State to Hollywood celebrities and even well know television evangelists. And, what excited the public interest more than when a former President admitted having oral sex with a woman in the Oval office!

Men and women cheat for the same and for different reasons. It has been said that “Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love.” Although not the whole story when it comes to explaining infidelity, generally speaking, it comes pretty close.

Men are attracted to women for all the “right” reasons, but their desire for pure sex is very strong. Given the right circumstances, such as any opportunity that presents itself, men will jump into bed with a woman just to have her sexually. This “mindless” sex requires no long term commitment to the woman as a person and in many cases the man has no intention of ever seeing her again. Some men subscribe to the idea that morals get in the way, guilt is for neurotics, promises can easily be broken, and that missed opportunities are haunting. They believe that they must be prepared to strike while the iron (and flesh) is hot.

Women, on the other hand, will usually require more “justification” for their extra marital episodes. This is not to say that sex is never a factor when women stray; some women, like some men, are not sexually satisfied by their mates and seek that satisfaction outside the marriage. However, women crave emotional fulfillment. They want to be made to feel special by loving interaction. They need caresses, soft words, compliments and all of the attention and positive reinforcements they aren't getting at home. Unlike men, the adulterous woman is usually seeking a “relationship.”

If one knows what to look for, the signs of infidelity are often easily detected. Abrupt changes in attention to appearance and grooming, suspicious phone calls, unexplained expenses, recent need for “time alone”, sudden late appointments and of course telltale signs such as lipstick or make-up smears on clothing.

People will always make hasty decisions when choosing a mate and some married couples will always continue to grow apart. Just as we've seen throughout history, infidelity is viewed by some as the only solution to their world of unhappiness.